I don't remember precisely where I heard the phrase, or if I came up with it myself, but I've long enjoyed referring to myself, in a writing sense, as someone who tells lies and gets paid for it. Admittedly, I haven't managed the getting paid for it part yet, but hopefully that will come with more effort on my part. Unfortunately, this would-be professional liar is now confronted with the difficult task of being truthful.
IGC Publishing 